In The News...

I could have a weekly show. The 'Ninny.' Or [turning to fellow guest Tim Allen] I could do 'Homo Improvement' with you." -- Elton John, responding to Jay Leno's suggestion that he so his own sitcom.

"WorldCom long distance phone company has announced it wants to buy MCI for $30 billion," says Jay Leno. "Their strategy is to keep calling MCI executives at home at dinner time until they agree to switch over."

"The Pentagon announced plans to fire a laser at an aging satellite to test the vulnerability of U.S. satellite systems. Maybe they can aim a little to the left and hit the Home Shopping Network." (Mark Wheeler)