In The News...

Marv (Albert) said he wanted to spare his family, his friends, his fiancee any further embarrassment," Jay Leno says. "That was a good move. Thank God he nipped it in the bud. Imagine if that stuff got out, oh my God!"

Marv is going to be a noun or a verb: Would you like to come over to my place for a Marv?

Dennis Rodman was outraged when he heard the verdict. The only thing Marv was guilty of, said Rodman, was a fashion felony.

For Marv, 2 on 1 isn't just basketball -- it's a way of life.

"Paul McCartney says that it's wrong to make criminals out of people who smoke pot," says Argus Hamilton. "The problem is, pot is a gateway drug. One day you're not inhaling, the next day you're violating campaign finance laws."

"Miss Canadian International was disqualified for working at a Hooters restaurant," says Bill Williams. "They confiscated her crown, swimsuit and 'I want to work with children and world hunger' practice tape."