You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.

You Might Be A Teacher If...

You believe the staff room should have a valium salt lick.

You find humor in other people's stupidity.

You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free."

You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

Out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.

Marking all A's on the report card would make your life SOOOO much simpler.

You're not talking about a food group when you mention "vegetables."

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

You encourage obnoxious parents to check into charter schools or home schooling.

You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never, ever DREAM of doing your job.

You can't have children of your own, because there is NO name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.