All About Television

You know, television was actually invented in the 1890s, but they couldn't get it to work until the '40s when they came out with gaffer tape. -- Walter Pyle, CBS

Television isn't a medium. It's a small. -- Unknown

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. -- Alfred Hitchcock

Inside every digital circuit, there's an analog signal screaming to get out. -- Al Kovalick, Hewlett-Packard

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it don't work. -- Gallagher

The TV business ... is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason. -- Hunter S. Thompson

The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle: they're on TV! -- Homer Simpson