Redneck

If four vehicles arrive at an intersection with a four way stop, who has the right of way?

The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't kill people. I do."

There are two kinds of people in the south -- good ole boys and rednecks. The difference is good old boys may raise livestock, rednecks get emotionally attached. -- Blake Clark

Beau and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses. "Boy," said Beau, "that sight sure makes me want to do the same." "Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."

I love those slow-talking Southern girls. I was out with a Southern girl last night, took her so long to tell me she wasn't that kind of girl, she was. -- Woody Woodbury

My Aunt Velveeta lets that stupid dog of hers sit right next to her in the dining room. And when she gets done eating, she will take her plate and let that dog lick it clean right at the table! Then she'll put some Poli-Grip on it and slip it right back in her mouth. -- Heywood Banks

As someone once observed, Southerners will be polite until they are angry enough to kill you. -- John Shelton Reed

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? Either way someone's going to lose a trailer.