TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

2. It's easy being a soap dodger

3. You get to eat shitty little things like snails and frog's legs

4. You know what you are ordering in expensive restaurants

5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

6. You can test your own nuclear weapons far away from your own doorstep

7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

8. If there's a war you can surrender really early

9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in a hole

10. People think you're a great lover even when you're crap