In The News...

The WNBA begins. It's really nothing that new. A group of women do the same work as men and get paid a lot less. -- Alan Ray

Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow have broken off their engagement. The Hollywood couple thinks counseling might repair the relationship. Both have agreed to see a publicist." (Alan Ray)

"Sad news," says Jay Leno. "I hope he can find himself another girl."

A judge ruled O.J. Simpson has to sell his gold clubs to pay off some of the $33.5 million judgment against him. Says Leno, "Those golf clubs, they can be worth millions of dollars. 'Cause they're not ordinary clubs. With those babies, you can play golf at night."

Baptists versus Hollywood: The Southern Baptist convention voted to boycott Disney films because of the company's gay friendly policy. "To appease the group, Disney has added an eighth dwarf- Bubba the gay basher." (Alex Kaseberg)

"The eight dwarfs are named Happy, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful, Sleepy, Doc, Grumpy and Self-Righteous." (Ray)

The Baptists are mad that Disney hosted a "gay days" event. "Don't worry. Disney says it is perfectly willing to hold Small Minds Days too."

Republicans in Washington have unveiled another plan to dismantle the National Endowment for the Arts. "Under a provision offered by Sens. Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond, square dancers, musical saw players and Elvis on velvet painters would continue to receive federal funding." (Mills)