In The News...

Bush, Carter, Clinton...they were all painting over this graffiti-ed wall. Which is the first time in American history that members of both parties took part in the same cover-up. -- Bill Maher, ABC's "Politically Incorrect"

Modern Travel: A Continental Airlines flight landed at an abandoned Navy field four miles from the Corpus Christi, Texas, airport. "It's new motto: 'We get you somewhere on time.'" (Stan Kaplan)

Around the Country: Oxygen bars are opening in Los Angeles. "I'm not sure if oxygen bars will work," says Alex Kaseberg. "Folks here are used to their air chunky style."

Minolta reportedly has signed Dennis Rodman to do ads for its laser printers. The theme of the ads is: "There's no image we can't improve."

"Washington insiders are saying the sexual harassment charges against Sonny Bono are just a ploy to gain credibility among his colleagues on Capitol Hill." (Craig Kilborn)

Annals of Paleontology: "Scientists said they have uncovered the largest dinosaur of all time and they're calling it gigantosaurus," says Jay Leno. "That's the name they came up with? Gigantosaurus? These are the best minds in science? What, was the name bigosaurus already taken?"

Hubble telescope scientist says the spacecraft due to arrive at Mars will have to cope with global dust storms followed by cold, cloudy weather. "Scientists have renamed the planed Minnesota." (Wheeler)