In The News...

The New York Police Department wants to use high school year-books to help identify teenage criminals. Meanwhile, Jerry Seinfeld wants to use high school yearbooks to find a new girlfriend. -- Conan O'Brien

The New Military: The Pentagon will ask Congress to close bases, reduce troop sizes and cut spending. "The Pentagon itself will close two wings," adds Jerry Perisho. "It will then be known as 'The Love Triangle.'"

President Clinton hurt his back while just sitting reading on the Truman Balcony. "Maybe he read that first tuition bill from Stanford and flipped," says Jenny Church.

"These are confusing times for Dennis Rodman," says Russ Myers. "First, his ex-wife writes a critical book about him, then Oprah refuses to have him on her show and then Eddie Murphy drives right by him."