The Top 15 Other Things in the Hale-Bopp Comet's Tail

15> Gazillions of unmatched socks

14> Guy with rainbow-colored wig and sign that says, "John 3:16"

13> Replacement players for the Chicago Cubs

12> By contractual arrangement with Nike, it's now called the Hale-Bopp "Swoosh."

11> Castration debris

10> A "My Other Interstellar Vehicle Goes Faster Than Light" bumper sticker

9> A few stale cheese puffs, four Junior Mints, some loose change, and the remote control

8> Spacedust bunnies

7> William Shatner's hairpiece from episode #12 of the original Star Trek

6> A hitman from the planet Zircon with a contract on Pauly Shore

5> A smaller comet that's honking and trying to pass

4> Where there's tail, Wilt Chamberlain can't be far away

3> A bumper sticker which reads: "I Brake for Cult Members"

2> I'm sorry, I was watching Pamela Lee on Saturday Night Live. What was the question?

and the Number 1 Other Thing in the Hale-Bopp Comet's Tail...

1> Yet another Starbucks