The Mainer's Guide To Computer Lingo

LOG ON: Makin' the wood stove hotter. LOG OFF: Don't add wood. MONITOR: Keep an eye on the wood stove. DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup. MEGA HERTZ: When yer' not carful downloadin' (watch those toes!) FLOPPY DISK: What you get from pilin' too much firewood. RAM: That hydrolic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work. HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in mud season. PROMPT: What you wish the mail was in mud season. WINDOWS: What to shut when it's 30 below. SCREEN: What you need for black fly season. BYTE: What black flies do. CHIP: What to munch on. MICRO CHIP: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone. MODEM: What you did to the hay fields. DOT MATRIX: Farmer Matrix's wife. LAP TOP: Where the little kids feel comfy. KEYBOARD: Where you hang your keys. SOFTWARE: Them plastic eatin' utensils. MOUSE: What eats the horses' grain in the barn. MAIN FRAME: The part of the roof that holds the roof up. PORT: Fancy wine. ENTER: C'mon in!