Sloth!

Two men are in the pub, talking about the lazy shiftless youth of today. They get on to the subject of their sons, and end up arguing over who has the laziest bum for offspring. Neither can believe that anyone could possibly have spawned a bigger layabout than himself, so they place bets and agree to visit each other at home to see just how sluggish each other's lad is.

They go into the first guys house and their is no sign of the son. "Ah, that's 'cause he's in bed. It's only 10pm, and he never gets up before midnight, if he ever gets up at all. I've never even caught him getting up for a leak."

And sure enough the son is in bed, wide awake, remote for the TV in hand. His room stinks.

"Hi Dad."

"Hi Son, can you get up outa bed now?"

"No, I'm quite happy here Dad."

"I'll give you $1000 a week allowance if you do."

"Nah, no thanks. I can't be bothered. I'll just stay here if it's OK."

The first father is needless to say pleased with the display of slothfulness his son has supplied the other guy with. Surely no-one can beat that.

"That's nothing." says man #2. "Wait 'til you meet my son."

So they go to his house and the son is lying on the floor by the fireside watching TV. The first guy isn't impressed. "He's bloody hyperactive compared to my son, he's even dressed!"

Then they go closer, and notice that the lad is crying, evidently in some pain. His father is unconcerned, but the first guy says "What's wrong lad?"

He wails back, "I'm burning."