In The News...

The Treasury Department has complained the the Internal Revenue Service is poorly managed, often loses documents and that many employees don't know what they're doing. "That's good, isn't it?" says Jay Leno. "Who wants an IRS that knows what it's doing? I say to the Treasury Department, 'Mind your own business, will ya?' They're doing fine."

West Coast: A 5.4 aftershock from the '92 Landers earthquake shook up desert areas. "It's what people in Southern California like to call earthquake weather," says the Daily Scoop. "Not to be confused with fire weather or urban riot weather or drive-by shooting weather."

"When these quakes hit, everybody is told to do two things. Get under the nearest door, and make sure the door is in Cleveland." (Hamilton)

Egoland: John Tesh claims critical jibes to his music mean nothing because his last album sold 800,000 copies. "Get over yourself, John," says Kaseberg. "One of the most popular prints is 'Dogs Playing Poker.'"