High Tech Jargon

High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

* NEW - Different color from previous design

* ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design

* EXCLUSIVE - Imported product

* UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition

* DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone

* FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments

* ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it

* IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

* FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment

* HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit

* DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor

* YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works

* REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors

* BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it

* FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does

* DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others

* MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix

* RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope...

* HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on

* PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period

* MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours

* ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!

* BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise

* HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it

* SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound

* NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will work

* MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction

* CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports

* UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

* BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together

* SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check

* MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain

* AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing