You Know You're From Arkansas When...

• You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
• You consider a sixpack and a bug zapper quality entertainment.
• Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
• Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
• Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
• Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the Highway Patrolman to kiss her ass.
• You've used lard in bed.
• The primary color of your car is Bondo.
• The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
• Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
• Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.
• You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
• You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
• Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
• Your wife's hairdo has been ruined by a ceiling fan.
• You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
• You have a rag for a gas cap.
• Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
• You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
• You barbecue Spam on the grill.
• You have to scratch your sister's name out of the message: "for a good time call . ."
• Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
• Redman sends you a Christmas card.
• You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
• Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
• Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
• You view your next family reunion as a good chance to meet girls.
• You prominently display the gift you got at Graceland.
• Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
• Your front porch falls in and kills more than three dogs.
• You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Dixie".
• You call your boss "Dude".
• You think a Volvo is a part of a woman's anatomy.
• You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it.
• You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
• You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
• Your father encouraged you to quit school because Larry had an opening on the lube rack.
• You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
• After making love you ask your date to roll down the window