In The News...

President Clinton wants national math and reading standards for all kids. "But what about history? A recent survey says most ninth- graders believe that Franklin D. Roosevelt invented Prozac and ended the Great Depression." (Argus Hamilton)

Business Beat: Mobil Oil has a tiny remote you can use to speed up gas purchases, says Jay Leno. "You wave it in front of a gas pump, it turns it on. You don't need your wallet, you don't need your credit card. You just wave this thing, get whatever you want. We have had that in L.A. for years. It's called a handgun."

Kraft has joined Procter & Gamble's Folger's brand in jacking up the price of its Maxwell House coffee. Says Bob Mills, "The well-known slogan has been changed to, 'Good to the last greed inspired price hike.'"

"See that Starbucks sign," says Leno. "3.9% financing available."

Ross Perot says he won't rule out a run for president in 2000. "He's already out on the fund-raising trail," says Hamilton. "This morning he had breakfast by himself and raised $10 million."

Horror meister Clive Barker is getting into children's programming. "As if Barney isn't scary enough." (The Cutler Daily Scoop)

"Despite court rulings, a tax accounting firm in California is telling people they can deduct the cost of marijuana as a medical expense," says Leno. "That means the IRS could end up owing Wilie Nelson money."

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post says this year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is one of his favorites "because it isn't cluttered with a lot of, you know, words."