The Top 14 Signs You Have Nothing to Do at Work

14> You find yourself looking forward to your next random drug test.

13> You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 1997.

12> The only activity on your calendar? Tuesday/8:00am -- Discuss Melrose Place at the water cooler.

11> You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces image of Elvis.

10> You've actually figured out a way to get Gilligan off that island.

9> You decide to see how many Mountain Dew's you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.

8> Wake up, fix Tipper her breakfast and kiss her goodbye, then back to bed.

7> People only come into your office to borrow pencils from your ceiling.

6> Your employer lets you listen in on his calls from the president.

5> You *knew* that guy who hired you to find his wife's killer looked familiar.

4> No longer content with merely photo-copying your ass, you now scan it and enhance it with Photoshop.

3> After months of taking frequent breaks, you now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarves.

2> Your title? Hooters Employee Continuing Education Coordinator.

and the Number 1 Sign You Have Nothing to Do at Work...

1> The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish.