If Religion Was Baseball

- Calvinists would believe the game is fixed. - Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper. - Quakers won't swing. - Unitarians can catch anything. - Amish would walk a lot. - Pagans would sacrifice. - Jehovah's Witnesses would be thrown out often. - Televangelists would get caught stealing. - Episcopalians would pass the plate. - Evangelicals would make effective pitches. - Fundamentalists would balk. - Mormons would stay in left field. - Dunkers are down by three. - Adventists would have a seventh-inning stretch. - Atheists would refuse to have an Umpire. - Baptists would like to play hardball. - Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account of darkness. - The Catholics would claim never to have committed an error. - Buddhists will blame it on bad karma. - Palestenians would blame it on the settlers. - Jews would blame it on anti-semites.