The Top 14 Threats Used in Dysfunctional Families

14> "Finish your lima beans or you're not getting any heroin for dessert!"

13> "If you don't stop that this instant, I'll have Grandma perform another striptease for you."

12> "If this plexiglass wasn't between us, I'd wash your mouth out with soap, young man."

11> "Do you want me to put a tofu burrito in your pants? Well? Do You?!"

10> "Billy Bob, you finish them chores or Sis ain't goin' to the prom with ya!"

9> "Eat your brussel sprouts, or Mommy won't love you anymore."

8> "Lyle, Erik -- either behave, or go to your suites!"

7> "If you don't eat your peas, Chelsea, I'll make you stay at the Gingrich's house!"

6> "Don't make me put you back in the womb!"

5> "As long as you live under this roof, you're *going* to wear that dress, young man!"

4> "You just wait til your father gets paroled!"

3> "Stop crying, Lourdes, or Uncle Dennis will kick you in the groin."

2> "Young lady, don't make me send you to the Citadel!"

and the Number 1 Threat Used in Dysfunctional Families...

1> "All right, Little Mister, no more time in the sheep pen for you!"