The Top 15 Signs You Read Too Many Comic Books

15> More than a little disappointed you didn't get invited to Superman's wedding.

14> Keep memorizing words like "SSPPLLAATT", "KAPOW", and "BLAMMMMO" for school spelling bee.

13> Your resume lists your last three jobs as Defender of the Galaxy, Sidekick to Defender of the Galaxy, and Assistant Manager of InterGalactic 7-11.

12> You shout "Curses! Foiled again" when they forget the catsup at the drive-through.

11> You whack your boss over the head with a hammer and are surprised when his head doesn't pop back into shape.

10> Despite repeated attempts to stop speeding cars with your bare hands, neighbors still think you're just a suicidal lunatic.

9> At age 43, you set the regional subscription record for Grit Magazine.

8> Your compulsive self-narrative renders you too transparent for a career in real estate or car repair.

7> You're the only one wearing a cape at step aerobics.

6> "Holy 40-year-old virgin, Batman!"

5> Wife is getting tired of you introducing her as "My trusty sidekick."

4> Most of your sick days are due to "the effects of the earth's yellow sun."

3> Refusing to admit you're drunk, you vow revenge on the evil "Flaccidus" for your inability to "perform."

2> Your secret identity keeps drinking all the beer.

and the Number 1 Sign You Read Too Many Comic Books...

1> Your attempts at becoming "Danger Cloud" are proving hard on the underwear.