In The News

A CNN poll named President Clinton the most admired man in America, finishing ahead of Pope John Paul II and the Rev. Billy Graham. This proves that, as much as this country loves religion, comedy will always come first.

The TV industry announced its new content rating system Thursday. Among the categories:

TV-G - For shows that make you go, "Gee, isn't there anything better on?" TV-Zzz - For C-SPAN TV-PG - Parental Guidance, ideally not just, "Don't sit so close to the set." TV-NBA - Big guys, bugger paychecks, bigger egos TV-9.95 - You're watching QVC TV-666 - Sitting through yet another Tori Spelling movie will be pure hell. TV-Mmm - You're watching the food network. TV-M - For mature audiences, which rules out anyone who fights over the remote. TV-#%@& - You're watching the cartoon network. TV-911 - Your friends know not to call during this show unless it's an emergency.

Los Angeles has outlawed gas powered leaf blowers in residential areas. If you report someone for violating this law, does that make you a leaf blower whistle blower?

According to Cosmo, American women consider the ideal male measurments to be 42-32-32, except in Los Angeles where the perfect man is 85-95-105. That's 85 years old, worth $95 million and running a 105 temperature.

The Raiders held a tickets for guns promotion for their fans. Actually, it happens every week: "Gimme your tickets, I got a gun!"

Researchers at Oxford University say there's no evidence that garlic prevents heart attacks. In fact, it can be a real hinderance when a victim requires mouth to mouth resusitation.

Here's an interesting science fact - the male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to seven miles away. How's THAT for a not so fresh feeling.

An finally, a study says Americans actually have more free time than ever. Well, that may have been true before Doom, but it certainly isn't true now...