The Top 16 Changes if Your Boss Were a Frog

16> Your plan to just step on anyone who stands in the way of your career advancement begins to look more and more plausible.

15> He'd be much more likely to pee when you pick him up.

14> You'd probably want to rethink your aversion to vivisection.

13> No more whining about how long it's been since you had any tail.

12> Daydreaming about the day your boss croaks would no longer have that same charm.

11> Sexual harrassment laws not so clear cut with out-of-body egg fertilization.

10> She's noticeably jumpier after morning coffee break.

9> "Toadie" suddenly a well-respected position.

8> At the very least, you'd get a nice psychedelic buzz after kissing his ass.

7> If he laid a pile of work on you Friday at 4:30, you could flush him down the toilet.

6> Tastes more like chicken than the old boss.

5> You thought cigarette and coffee breath was bad...

4> No more dirty language around the water cooler -- it's a nursery now!

3> Want a promotion? Tell him your brother is a French Chef -- I think he'll make the connection.

2> Having a "frog in your throat" could actually net you that desired promotion.

and the Number 1 Change if Your Boss Were a Frog...

1> Fred the Anaconda in Human Resources would be out of a job.