The Top 12 Activities Planned for Michael Jackson's Honeymoon

12> Make prank phone calls to a certain deceased rock star's daughter.

11> Hire that Crocodile Dundee guy to carry bride over threshold.

10> The now-traditional "exchanging of the noses."

9> Embark on 50 country, multi-media, high exposure plea to respect their privacy.

8> Watch "Thriller" video and scream like little girls.

7> Same as last time: Send the wife home and take a group of young boys to EuroDisney.

6> That tender moment when they both remove their veils.

5> Every morning: 1. Throw up. 2. Check on condition of pregnant wife.

4> A lot of crotch grabbing, heavy breathing and moaning -- but no sex.

3> Make sure Michael understands that the baby may not be 100% white.

2> Her: Laying on the beach. Him: Laying on the bleach.

and the Number 1 Activity Planned for Michael Jackson's Honeymoon...

1> Knock up some more chicks!