In The News...

Splitsville: A Dublin court has granted Ireland's first divorce. "The Irish are so unfamiliar with the legal ramifications, Liz Taylor is being flown in to conduct a seminar," says Bob Mills.

"Divorce is way up in California," says Argus Hamiliton. "It's considered normal now. When a woman meets a man in Los Angeles, she asks herself if this is the one she someday wants their children to visit every other weekend."

The US Army is faced with enlistments that could fall 10% below target this year. "Military life isn't what it used to be. It's now six months of boot camp followed by years of sensitivity training." (Hamilton)