ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE...I learned from my dog!

- If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want. - When it comes to having sex, if at first you don't succeed, beg. - Don't go out without I.D. - Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes. - Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it. - Leave room in your schedule for a good nap. - Always give people a friendly greeting - a cold nose in the crotch is effective. - When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed). - If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.