Program to Replace S&L PC's

Every now and then any organization must update its desktop facilities. What is a sound criteria for determining those needs. Here are a few of the logically based economic and scientific considerations

Management asks "...how to determine when we need to buy PCs." Here are a few thoughts.

You can justify replacing your PC if...

Your numeric keypad uses Roman Numerals.

Your neighbor's PC's all have lightning bolts on the chassis to warn of high voltage inside. Your PC has a picture of Thor.

A thief discovers your PC at midnight. The next morning, atop your PC you find a Genuine Hallmark Card. Inside you find a five dollar bill and a book of food stamps.

Your mouse is made out of Bakelite.

Your modem's dialer thinks "Compuserve" is "three long and two short."

You've had to complain to AT&T about constant dinner-time phone calls from the Smithsonian Museum.

Your PC has already been programmed to handle "turn of the century" year ambiguities by using four digits, making it possible to differentiate ambiguous '96' as either '96BC' or '96AD'.

Your internal 'HDD' is an FeO2 drum.

Your internal memory is mercury-vapor-acustic.

The only Juke Box approved for your PC is The Mighty Whurlitzer.

Your UPS requires a continuous supply of downhill running water.

You have a 10'x15' private office. Whenever management complains, you show them your PC.

Your laptop PC has built-in wheels, a long handle, and a horse collar.

A list of upgrades for your PC is has been found on the Rosetta Stone.

Windows on your PC keeps displaying a Pop-Up message saying "Non illigitimus te corborundum est."