In The News...

A Russian rocket headed for Mars went off course and crashed into the ocean off the coast of Australia. Officials suspect that the sensitive onboard guidance system suddenly became confused and disoriented after it passed over Michael Jackson's wedding.

Glendale Federal Bank plans to open branches in Kinko's copying centers. The combined establishment will have a new name - Counterfeiters R Us.

And finally, a kindergarten teacher was suspended for writing "Where are my glasses?" on the face of a 5 year old girl who forgot to wear hers to school. As a reprimand, school officials wrote "Where is my brain?" on the teachers forehead.