In The News...

The National Enquirer says Tori Spelling's weight has dropped to 95 pounds. Spelling insists she doesn't have a problem, she's just trying o get back to her original weight of 7 pounds, 3 ounces.

Kato Kaelin had to have his appendix removed. It's basically a useless organ than serves no particular purpose. It's a shame they had to break up a matched set.

After a month's delay, the trashing of four episodes and a complete revamping, the CBS sitcom "Ink" finally premiered Monday night. Reqrites were so extensive, the producers considered renaming the show "Pencil".

A new survey says that for the first time, more than half of Americans are overweight. Most of them are in the same geographic region... in front of the TV. It's not because of a lack of health information. A lot of people have seen the light. Unfortunately, it was the one inside the refrigerator.

An Australian doctor is putting a euthanasia instruction kit on the Internet. He's in direct competition with another big name in the assisted suicide business, Phillip Morris.

A Las Vegas deputy district attorney, stopped by a cop, was found to have cocaine and a prostitute in his car. He was let go after he promised not to bill overtime for taking his work home with him.

A proposal by a San Francisco supervisor would allow the city to have sex clubs, as long as they follow safe sex procedures. Such a law would mean if you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear more than flowers in your hair.

And finally, a 70 year old man was jailed in Edna, Texas, after a state trooper pulled him over and found 3 million Valium pills in his car. You may not have heard of Edna. It's a sleepy little town...