In The News...

Hillary Clinton received her first royalty check for "It Takes A Village". Just in time. With Chelsea about to graduate, Hillary's working on her sequel, "It Takes A Ton Of Money To Send A Kid To College".

A woman hijacked a taxi in Southern California this week and held the driver hostage for five hours. The good news - the driver escaped unharned. The bad news - the meter was running the whole time...

Was it a bomb? A missile? Mechanical failure? Janet Reno says the cause of the crash of TWA flight 800 may remain a mystery. That is, until it's made into a movie by Oliver Stone.

Bill Clinton says we will send robots to explore Mars. Al Gore starts training next week.

According to a bridal magazine, 87% of brides-to-be say they plan to take their husband's last name. If they catch them cheating, they also plan to take his last dime.

According to a new federal report, passenger side airbags reduce traffic deaths. The same report, however, said backseat windbags increase traffic deaths.

A study says the first 25 years of marriage are the toughest - especially if it's all top the same person...

Milk prices have risen dramatically across the nation, leading to the most common ailment at the breakfast table today - lactose insolvency.

And finally, security personnel at Disneyland are being accused of brutality. Park officials deny that guards have ever taken advantage of guests - that's the job of souvenir shops...