LowComDom Performances Presents
A very good and pious Jew, Samuel Goldberg, man dies and immediately goes to heaven. The angel at the gate greets him and tells him that he can't admit him to heaven.
When Mr. Goldberg asks why, the angel replies, "Well, this is a little embarrassing. You see, as I look at your record, for all intents and purposes, you have no sins. All I can see looking at page after page is mitzvah after mitzvah. You have been an exceptional person your whole life, you married a decent woman, your children turned out to be respected members of the community, you've always paid your debts on time... nothing but mitzvahs.
Now, other than God, only the angels have no sins. I obviously can't send you to hell, but I can't admit you to heaven because you're a human being and human beings commit sins."
The angel thought for a moment and then said, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to send you back to Earth for 24 hours. During that time all you have to do is commit one sin. It doesn't have to anything drastic, just something that will go on your record as a sin."
The next thing he knows, Mr. Goldberg is standing on the street in front of his home. Approaching him on the street, he notices Mrs. Ludinsky, a 79 year old widow carrying two large bags of groceries with great difficulty. True to his nature, Mr. Goldberg offers to help her carry the groceries home. Then, remembering that he must commit a sin in order to be admitted to heaven, he grabs Mrs. Ludinsky, the groceries go flying in every direction, and drags her up the stairs to his bedroom. Once inside he proceeds to commit every kind of sexual debauchery he can think of.
Several hours later, exhausted, he begins to put his clothes back on.
Sitting up in bed, Mrs. Ludinsky says, "Oy, Mr. Goldberg, you have no idea what a mitzvah you've just done!"