LowComDom Performances Presents
Gifts for the Rabbi
This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract. He explains that he is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and proclaims, "If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every 3 years and his wife with a Honda mini-van to help with the children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the Rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee his kids get a fine college education!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Sadie Goldfarb stands and announces with a smile, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll give him sex!"
There is total silence.
The Rabbi, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"
Sadie answers, "I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Screw the Rabbi.'"