LowComDom Performances Presents
What Women Really Mean
No = No.
Yes = No.
Maybe = No.
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want.
You want = You want.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave...
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're not going to like.