LowComDom Performances Presents
Some Stats to Think About
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pick-up truck causing him to have to slam on his brakes. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a woman does anything to me in traffic and here's why:
I drive 38 miles each way to work every day. That's 76 miles. Of these, 16 miles each way, is bumper-to-bumper traffic. Most of the bumper-to-bumper traffic is on an 8-lane highway, so if you look just at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like one car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper-to-bumper traffic, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of these cars are driven by females. That's 18,000.
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% of women describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. 70% of 642 is 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed. So... no matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of pissing her off!