LowComDom Performances Presents
To: All Law Enforcement Personnel
From: Chief of Police
Subj: EBONICS RIGHTS ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND WAIVER
Recently, our department has received numerous complaints stating that there have been many suspects that did not understand their Miranda Rights that were read to them in the standard English text. We feel that this may be due to the language barrier between the use of English and the use of Ebonics. Effective immediately, suspects will be asked if they would prefer their rights read to them in English or Ebonics. For Ebonics, the rights and introduction, will be read as follows:
Yo, mutherfucka, 5-0 dun busted yo fucking ass for (insert appropriate crime/s). Before we starts rappin. I needs to make sure we cool wit a few thangs.
1. If you dont wants to say shit, you aint gots to say shit.
2. If you choose to open yo fucking mouth, any shit you says, the man gonna use to bust yo ass when you is on the bench.
3. You allowed to have a suit wit ya before we raps and on the bench. If you aint gots the bread fo a suit, wee's gonna give ya one so's you gots him to tell the man yo side of the story and you aint got's to pay fo it.
4. If we starts rappin and you thinks 5-0 be dissin yo ass, 5-0 gots ta stop talkin.
5. We cool bro.