LowComDom Performances Presents
You know you're from Illinois ...
You've never met any celebrities.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
You measure distance in minutes.
Down south to you means Kentucky
You know several people who have hit a deer
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines."
You think Chicago is a completely different state from Illinois.
You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
You know where all the Yoders live.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable.
You can locate Illinois on the United States map.
Detasseling was your first job.
You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt."
Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice
You don't pronounce the "s" in Illinois.
You learn your pickup will run without a muffler.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."
You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor.
People from other states love to hear you say "Illinois" and other words with "Os" in them.
Your dream vacation is a trip to Rock Home Gardens.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what the numbers I-80, 75 and 57 mean.
You know what "cow tipping" is.