LowComDom Performances Presents
Family Stress Test
Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk."
The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
The cat is on Valium.
People have trouble understanding your kids because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
"Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
30 -- A perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20-29 -- You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.
10-19 -- You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?
0- 9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do anyway?