LowComDom Performances Presents
OBFUSC-8 and BOTCH: Old Programming Languages Revisited
You should try the great new language OBFUSC-8! It is incredibly easy to learn and use. Only three command statements are employed, the ones needed to perform the most common computer operations: CRSYS (crash system), LDAT (lose data) and RDSK (ruin disk.) File structures are refreshingly simple ... there are NO files, thus no access and backup problems. Similarly, numeric operators are simplified by eliminating all numeric operations, freeing the programmer from the boredom of writing accounting and bookkeeping software. Incredibly sharp, high-resolution color graphics can be created by drawing on the monitor (RGB or monochrome) with crayons. Text strings of any length can be cut off and tied in a knot around your pinkie for instant retrieval.
OBFUSC-8 is in final testing and should be available soon in versions for Pascal's Analytical Engine, abacus and slide rule.
HERE ARE SOME EXTRA OPCODES FOR THOSE WHO CAN NEVER FIND THE RIGHT ONE TO DO THE JOB.
AGB...add garbage BBL...branch on burned out light BAH...branch and hang BLI...branch and loop infinite BPB...branch on program bug BPO...branch if power off CPB...create program bug CRN...convert to Roman numerals DAO...divide and overflow ERS...erase read only storage HCF.....halt and catch fire IAD...illogical and IOR...illogical or MDB...move and drop bits MWK...multiply work PAS...print and smear RBT...read and break tape RPM...read programmer's mind RRT...record and rip tape RSD...read and scramble data RWD...rewind disk SRZ ...subtract and reset to zero SSD...seek and scratch disk TPR...tear paper WED...write and erase data WID...write invalid data XIO...execute invalid op code XOR...execute operator XPR...execute programmer XUR...execute user
BOTCH ==> A NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE ==> Basic Operating Technique of Computer Hobbyists
ARN ADD AND RESET TO NON-ZERO BB BRANCH ON BUS BBI BRANCH ON BURNED-OUT INDICA BCF BRANCH ON CHIP BOX FULL BD BACKSPACE DISK BPO BRANCH ON POWER OFF BSO BRANCH ON SLEEPY OPERATOR BTI BLOW TRUMPET IMMEDIATELY CCS CHINESE CHARACTER SET CM CIRCULATE MEMORY CRN CONVERT TO ROMAN NUMERALS DAC DIVIDE AND CONQUER DD DESTROY DISK DIA DEVELOP INEFFECTIVE ADDRESS DO DIVIDE AND OVERFLOW DSPK DESTROY STORAGE PROTECT KEY ECP ERASE CARD PUNCH ED EJECT DISK EIO EXECUTE INVALID OPCODE EROS ERASE READ ONLY STORAGE FSG FILL SCREEN WITH GARBAGE HCF HALT AND CATCH FIRE IA ILLOGICAL AND II INQUIRE AND IGNORE IOR ILLOGICAL OR IRB INVERT RECORD AND BRANCH LCC LOAD AND CLEAR CORE LMB LOSE MESSAGE AND BRANCH MLB MOVE AND LOSE MEMORY MLR MOVE AND LOSE RECORD MTI MAKE TAPE INVALID MWC MOVE AND WARP CODE NPN NO PROGRAM NECESSARY PI PUNCH INVALID PO PUNCH OPERATOR PS PRINT AND SMEAR RBT READ BLANK TAPE RCR REWIND CARD READER RCS READ CARD AND SCRAMBLE DATA RD REMOVE DISK RID READ INVALID DATA RIG READ INTER-RECORD GAP RBT REWIND AND BREAK TAPE RE RUN ERROR RNR READ NOISE RECORD ROM READ OPERATOR'S MIND RPM READ PROGRAMMER'S MIND RPB READ PRINT AND BLUSH RT REPORT TROUBLE SC SCRAMBLE CHANNELS SD SLIP DISK SLP SHARPEN LIGHT PENCIL SP SCATTER PRINT SPSW SCRAMBLE PROGRAM STATUS WORD SRSD SEEK RECORD AND SCAR DISK SSJ SELECT STACKER AND JAM TAB THROW AWAY BYTE TPN TURN POWER ON TPF TURN POWER OFF UCB UNCOUPLE CPU AND BRANCH UER UPDATE AND ERASE RECORD VID VERIFY INVALID DATA WWW WRITE WRONG LENGTH WORD WNR WRITE NOISE RECORD XNH EXECUTE NO-OP AND HANG YTE YES TO EVERYTHING ZEL ZERO EVERY LOCATION