LowComDom Performances Presents
Things I learned from Star Trek
A Starship will explode two, maybe three times at the most.
The safest time to transport to the Enterprise is while your ship is exploding around you.
Most actions on a Starship can result in damage and the eventual shutdown of the warp engines.
When travelling in space, be mindful of ships from the past appearing at the most inopportune times.
When the replicator malfunctions while serving you a drink, LEAVE THE SHIP IMMEDIATELY!
After life support fails, and there is no air remaining, you have 20 to 30 minutes to find some air, wake up and have big sweaty spots on the front of your shirt.
Any problem on the Enterprise can be solved by one of two methods; (a) divert power from life support to the shields, or (b) find yourself a sixteen-year-old who knows what to do.