LowComDom Performances Presents
OLD YELLER - "You spineless, good-for-nothing, drag-ass, no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable?!" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell Advantages: Pays attention to you Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans
THE BOSSER - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-It-All, Ball and Chain, Yes Mom Advantages: Often right Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?
WILD WOMAN OUT OF CONTROL - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun." Also known as: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, Passed Out Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs
HUFFY - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at." Also known as: No Fun, Humorless Prig, Cold Fish, Chilly Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you Disadvantages: You will have no friends
WOMAN FROM MARS - "I believe this interpretative dance will explain how I feel about our relationship." Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud
MS. DREAM GIRL - "I am utterly content with my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now." Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you