LowComDom Performances Presents
Beware of the Following Viruses
Ellen DeGeneres virus ... Your IBM suddenly claims it's a Mac.
Monica Lewinsky virus ... Sucks all the memory from your computer.
Titanic virus ... Makes your whole computer go down.
Disney virus ... Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
Mike Tyson virus ... Quits after one byte.
Prozac virus ... Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
Lorena Bobbit virus ... Turns your hard disk into a 3.5-inch floppy.
Woody Allen virus ... By-passes the motherboard and turns on daughter card.
Joey Buttafucco virus ... Only attacks minor files.
Spice Girl virus ... Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
Ronald Reagan virus ... Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
Dr. Kevorkian virus ... Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
Oprah Winfrey virus ... Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
ATT virus ... Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI virus ... Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the ATT virus.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus ... Terminates and stays resident ... It'll be back.
Viagra virus ... Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.
Then there is the Clinton PC -- it has a six-inch hard drive and no memory!