LowComDom Performances Presents
RULES THAT GUYS WISHED GIRLS KNEW
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
Do not cut your hair...EVER.
Birthdays, Valentines' Day, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and how much longer the lawn can go without being mowed.
Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
Dogs are better than ANY cat. Period.
Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not sport. Ergo, we're not interested; particularly on Sundays.
Anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
No, we don't know what special day that is. We never will. Mark anniversaries and birthdays clearly on a calendar.
Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
A headache that lasts for 7 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
Check your oil.
Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take "the quiz" from Cosmo together.
Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 24 hours.
If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. Consider it foreplay.
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus didn't stop for directions, and neither do we.
Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.