LowComDom Performances Presents
S.Cal driver license application
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
Name: ______________________ Stage name: _________________ Porn Name:__________________ Agent: ______________ Attorney: __________________ Therapist _______ Sex: male_____ female ______ formerly male _______ formerly female_________ both _____
If female, indicate breast implant size: ____
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes ___ No ___
Occupation: [ ] Lawyer [ ] Actor [ ] Actor/Waiter [ ] Actor/Waiter/Model [ ] Film-maker/Self-employed [ ] Consulting/Unemployed [ ] Writer/Waiter [ ] Car Dealer [ ] Pan-handler [ ] Agent [ ] Transvestite [ ] Other; please explain: ______________
Please list: Brand of cell phone: __________. (If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)
Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead Men: Please list shade of hair plugs
Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)
[ ] Drinking a non-fat half cafe latte with a short of vanilla and twist of lemon [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Talking on the phone [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [ ] Snorting cocaine [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the net via laptop
Please indicate how many times: a) you expect to shoot at other drivers:______ b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving:______
If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately: a) Call the police to report the crime b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news on a high-speed chase c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through d) Call your therapist e) None of the above
Please indicate if you drive: a) Beamer b) Porsche c) Mercedes d) Other
In the event of an earthquake, should you: a) stop your car, b) keep driving and hope for the best, c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4?
In the instance of rain, you should: a) never drive over 5 MPH b) drive twice as fast as usual c) you're not sure what "rain" is
Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.
Which of the following medications are you currently taking? a) Prozac b) Zovirax c) Lithium d) Zantax If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute: a) 1 hour b) 2 hours c) 3 hours d) 4 hours or more
When stopped by police, should you a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit?