LowComDom Performances Presents
This week I am at home and playing house-husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you:
Make the beds. What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that. Scratch one.
Pick up dog poop in yard. It snowed last night, I don't see any dog poop. Kids, do you see any dog poop? Scratch two.
Drop your skirts off at the cleaners. Duhh I'm on vacation I don't need them. Scratch three. This is easy, what's the fuss. Think I'll go on AOL for awhile.
Clean out Tupperware cabinet. Uhhhh, thats a hard one. GOT IT, Velcro on the door will keep them closed. Scratch four.
Mop kitchen floor. The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast, floor looks clean to me. Scratch five. Good doggie, go play in the yard. She just loves rolling in the snow.
Find something fun for the kids to do. That tinfoil in the microwave thing was kinda fun. Scratch six. This is way too easy. I'll have lots of time for AOL.
Vacuum the carpets. Thats a hard one... hey kids, wanna have some more FUN? Scratch seven.
Feed kids lunch. Hey kids, don't you have a friend's house to go to ? YESSSS! Scratch eight !
Clean out hallway closet...... Hmmmm another hard one. That's it, take enough out of the closet to close the door. Outta sight outta mind. Hmmmm this other stuff can go under a bed. Scratch nine. Boy oh boy am I good, lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker bag and eat. Taaa daaa - no lunch dishes !!!
Do laundry. No problem I can do that while I'm on AOL. Scratch ten.
Fold laundry. Dang, Ya know, I never noticed how many pink things this family actually wears. Gonna have to ask the little lady why she buys me pale pink underwear. Check this out - a cashmir Barbie sweater. Cool. Scratch eleven.
Put the laundry away. Baskets in bedrooms work for me. Scratch twelve. This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about house work?
Water the Christmas tree. Oops... good thing the carpet is absorbent. Scratch thirteen.
Grocery shopping, buy toliet paper. These old newspapers will do. Besides, that's recycling and that's good for the earth. Scratch fourteen.
Pick up the kids. Yeah, right. We're talking about my kids here. Parents will normally pay to drop them back off. They'll be back. Scratch fifteen. Wonder who's on AOL. Awww I have plenty of time.
Make dinner. Easy. Hello do you deliver? Uhhh double that. Ya know, we will need more dinner tomorrow. Scratch sixteen.
Clean out the dog house. Duh, the dog sleeps in our bed. Like that needs to be done.