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White House Intern Application
Greetings prospective White House interns!
This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job. We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet! Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:
Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of the hottest city in the world!
Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
Sound like this is for you? Just listen to what a former intern has to say about such an exciting opportunity: "I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president. Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just fantastic." -- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.
As you can see, being a White House intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy national issues. Still interested? Please reply to the White House at email@example.com, with the Subject heading of "Oral Office Internship".
Name: Hometown: Sex: F__ Age: Measurements: (required for medical purposes) How many beers it takes to get you... ... Giggly: ... Drunk: ... Hot: ... To lie to a federal prosecutor:
Quick quiz: ----- ----- You've always considered the White House: a) a monument to democracy b) the place where great leaders meet c) vaguely erotic d) extremely erotic
Hillary Clinton is a(n): a) model wife and mother b) icon of late 20th century femininity c) obstacle d) inappropriate companion for the leader of the free world
You've always wanted to know more about the President's: a) Israeli policies b) childhood in Hope, Ark. c) romper room d) "monument to democracy"
My social life as an intern would likely consist of: a) hitting Georgetown bars with the other interns b) reading, study c) late nights working at the White House d) late nights working the White House
Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d. Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call soon. Uncle Sam *wants* you.