LowComDom Performances Presents
How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:
*"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
*"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."
*"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
* "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
* "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
* "I am a rabid typist."
*"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."
* "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."
* "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
* "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
*"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."
*"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."
*"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
* "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."
* "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
* "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."
* "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil."
* "Qualifications: No education or experience."
* "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
* "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
* "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"
* Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"