LowComDom Performances Presents
How to tell when you are spending too much time with your computer:
You start introducing yourself as "lord at pacbell dot net"
Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like
You check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you check it again
Your phone bill is delivered in a box
You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom
All of your friends have an @ in their names
You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't have a job
You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.01"
You never have to deal with the busy signals because you never log off
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet
You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile :)
Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install another phone line so that the two of you can chat
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button
Your computer goes down, you haven't logged in for two hours. You start to tremble. You pick up the phone and dial your Internet access number. You try to mimic computer noise in order to connect. You succeed.