LowComDom Performances Presents
Typical Official Repsonses
1. What is said: "We'll get back to you"
What is meant: "We haven't the foggiest idea what this is all about, hopefully within the next onemonth we'll come across someone who might .. God willing, he won't forget to contact you, if you haven't given up, by then!"
2. What is said: "It's in the pipeline"
What is meant: "We hope and pray that some work on it will begin sometime this year, but if I were you, I'd start looking elsewhere for alternate solutions"
3. Said: "He should be here by 4 o' clock. Can I take a message?"
Meant: "No hope in hell that he'll get here before 6, however, if you're one of those over-optimistic nerds you can tell me, and I'll try not to forget to put up a note on his desk. Whether he comes back today or not, even if he does whether he reads that note is NOT my problem"
4. Said: "We've passed on your note to him"
Meant: "Your message has been hastily scribbled on a piece of paper put on his Secretary's desk. If the cleaner doesn't sweep it off the desk, the Secy. might just get to see it when she comes in and hopefully she'll remember to pass it on to him, if she has not used the piece of paper as a coaster for her morning tea!"
5. Said:"I'll follow up personally on this"
Meant: "I'll pass this on to ABC who'll pass it on to XYZ who'll pass it on to ... hopefully down the line somebody will lose track of who started the chain, and you'll forget that it was ME you had spoken to"