LowComDom Performances Presents
The Top 16 Signs You're at a Bad National Park
16> The only pictures Ansel Adams took of it were from inside the women's shower.
15> Joe Camel subbing for vacationing Smokey the Bear.
14> Extremely troubled Head Ranger who blames anything that goes wrong on Scott Baio.
13> A $20 cover and you still gotta pay extra for the lap dances.
12> Malnourished bears holding signs that read "Will caper amusingly for food."
11> According to posted signs, not only may you feed the animals, but afterward, you have a right to expect them to put out.
10> Pauly Shore's face is carved into the side of "Mount Paymore."
9> Bears not only take your picnic basket at gunpoint, but also make off with your Ford Explorer.
8> Your view of the scenery is blocked by reactor units #2 and #3.
7> "Here we see the oldest mobile home formations in the entire White Trash National Park."
6> Waterfalls seem to lose some of their majestic power whenever someone flushes a toilet.
5> Proudly proclaims, "100 percent Spotted Owl Free!"
4> When a squirrel runs by, park ranger bolts, screaming, "Run!! Run for your lives!!"
3> Every couple hundred feet along the hiking trails -- another Starbucks.
2> "Old Faithful" turns out to be a vacationing Frank Gifford.
and the Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad National Park...
1> On the tour, you see more of the Grand Crack in the ranger's ass than you do of the canyon.