LowComDom Performances Presents
The Top 15 Signs You Forgot Someone On Secretaries Day
15> Phone messages delivered on end of spear.
14> Your important dictation somehow seems to blah blah blah I am a slavedriving cheapskate.
13> A copy of the latest bestseller "So, Your Head's Up Your Ass, Now What?" appears on your desk.
12> When did FTD start doing an "Up Yours" Bouquet?
11> First, a message that Cindy Crawford is on line 2, followed a few seconds later by Satanic laughter.
10> It's not so much the cold coffee, it's the staples at the bottom of the cup.
9> Your big business dinner at the Four Seasons Restaurant in Manhattan is rescheduled for Big Jeb's 24-Hour Truck Stop outside of Newark.
8> Nude picture of Marlon Brando pops up in your Powerpoint presentation.
7> Supposedly shredded Whitewater documents turn up in the Washington Post cafeteria.
6> Now answers the phone, "Smith, Jones and Tightass."
5> That NY-to-LA trip she booked for you now involves six plane changes, a 12-hour layover in Guam and a personal appearance on Ricki Lake's "I'm A Selfish Pig" episode.
4> Newly-typed org chart lists your position as "Head Up His Ass."
3> Your computer's mouse has been replaced by an electro-genital shock device.
2> While admittedly funnier than usual, daily Top 5 list she forwards you contains 15 identical "You suck!" entries.
and the Number 1 Sign You Forgot Someone On Secretaries Day...
1> Expense report you don't recall submitting comes back with denied charges for "beer & hookers."