LowComDom Performances Presents
Breaking Up By Major
PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.
SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
RELIGION: Each prays for reconcilliation and/or curses God
ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.
THEATRE: "OH MY GOD! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
BIOLOGY: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"
PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.
JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."
WOMEN'S STUDIES: "HE did it!"
BUSINESS: Both decide that they're spending way too much money together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.
HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the past.
GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each other.
ANATOMY: "I never liked your body anyway."
ECONOMICS: One party demands more than the other can supply.
ENGLISH: Each writes the other a perfect breakup letter, complete with introduction, thesis, body, and conclusion, that doesn't really say anything substantively intelligible.
EDUCATION: Both concede that the relationship was a learning experience.
COMPUTING: "Man, this bytes -- we just couldn't interface" and/or "His hard drive was more like a floppy."
E. ENGINEER.: "It's just so shocking... I'm sure there are positives and negatives, but..."
ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much to build on anyway..."
JEWISH STUDIES: "OY! You should feel so guilty!"
PHILOSOPHY: If 2 people break up in a dorm and there's no one to witness the breakup, are they really single?
ZOOLOGY: They were able to mate like banshees, but lacked sophisticated communication skills.
PHYS. ED.: They punch each other out in frustration.
CHEMISTRY: They turn to hard drugs to relieve the pain.
COUNSELING: Each urges the other to "get help!"
MUSIC: Each utilizes an operatic lament (or, in Tennessee, a country song) to express his or her sorrow.
LAW: They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating agreement.